Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
