TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
