it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
