i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
