thus making me awesome and them whores
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
