Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
