What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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