i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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