he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
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I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
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I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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