It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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