"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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