Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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