HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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