dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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