But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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