he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
