we have officially lost it.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
