Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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