So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
