no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize