Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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