how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
