that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
