Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize