ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
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Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize