I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
