just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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