i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i wish my penis had a tongue
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
