Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
