Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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