can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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