Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I don't deserve a penis
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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