What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
