The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
