ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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