i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i barfeds in our rink
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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