In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize