i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
