She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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