If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
