I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
