im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
