How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
