yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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