That's intense
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
