Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
