I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
