I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
even my farts smell like vagina
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
