Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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