she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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