I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize