I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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