The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
