It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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