I skipped work to stalk him.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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