my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
