just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
