that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
