Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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