East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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