people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
