Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She bit a glass in half.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
