She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize